Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Junk Jackson -- JUNE 28, 2006

1. Danger Mouse - Track 5 from the Grey Album

The Ellis Island of albums. Dude made beats from Beatles' 'White Album' and took the vocals from Jay-Z's 'Black Album.' It's a melting pot of music...and hence very American. I hear that President Bush's fave track from this is the remix of '99 Problems.' Remember to vote.

2. The Herbaliser - The Blend

Just for clarification, "Herbaliser" isn't the hip-hop name for some guy named Herb.

3. Handsome Boy Modeling School - If I wasn't for you, feat. De La Soul and Starchild

From the nonessential second album, 'White People.'

4. LL Cool J - Def Jam in the Motherland

I feel sorry for the young kids coming up nowadays who only know LL as the token black dude in dismal action flicks about mean sharks, or as a mugging face in whatever dreck the UPN network has dredged out of its bowels. Used to be, the man put out some white-hot work. This song, and the album it came from, are great. However, I have a question about this lyric:

They try so damn hard,
But I'm a vanguard,
And they could never get a piece of the Mantard


Mantard? Is this a retarded man? A unitard only made for men? A future character from 'Deep Blue Sea VII'? Doesn't exactly sound like something genuinely from the streets...and I'm from the streets. I know.

5. Guided by Voices - King & Caroline, from 'Alien Lanes'

This is my first non hip-hop track, and it's sooooo appropriately not hip-hop...like Mel Brooks doing stand-up at the Apollo.

6. Outkast - Red Velvet, from 'Stankonia'

Back to the beats. A friend recently taught me how to do that booty dance you see in videos for songs like this. It's all in your heels -- you have to vibrate them like you're racing up a super tiny stairwell. My demonstration video for this technique is permanently going to keep me out of office.

7. Tom Waits - Pasties and a G-string

I learned the term "boozy" just so I could describe Tom Waits songs. The video of him performing this song in pasties and a g-string is the reason why he has lost the Republican primary four times. Please, just listen to his IDEAS, people.

8. Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 - Hundreds of Years

One of the great lost bands of the nineties. So nineties, in fact, that they get a shout-out in Jonathan Franzen's 'The Corrections.'

9. Aerial M - Wedding Song No. 2

A really soft and drowsy song that would be completely inappropriate for any wedding...unless it's on the soundtrack for some lost mid-90's indie film about a mentally-challenged southern couple getting married. Still, I have to say, it's better than the Electric Slide.

10. All Night Radio - Anchovya Suite

This is one of those short, intermediary tracks. By the year 2067, we're projected to run out of musical track space. Let's conserve it, people, and not put fillers on our albums.

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