Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Week of July 30, 2006

Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the shufflelogs of war...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

JIMMY SAFFRON - July 26, 2006

1. Springsteen, Bruce – “My Father’s House,” from Nebraska

How good is Nebraska? So good it could babysit your kids. So good it saved Superman’s life. So good it took away the sins of the world, leaving only one. That sin is not owning Nebraska.

2. The Rolling Stones – “Paint It, Black,” from Aftermath

This is the song that made “air sitar” a common sight at rock concerts.

I was recently introduced to a drink called “The Keith Richards.” It’s a double shot of Maker’s Mark mixed with beer.

3. Lady Sovereign – “A Little bit of Shhh,” from Vertically Challenged

I imagine this music to be wholly offensive to anyone over the age of 45. They simply wouldn’t understand how you could call it “music.” It’d be like you served them a plate piled high with shit and called it filet mignon.

That said, I like Lady Sovereign. From this, you can guess that I’m under 45. You can also guess that never, under any circumstances, would I eat my own shit. I don’t care what fancy name you slap on it.

In the interest of honesty, however, I will admit to occasionally enjoying the smell of my own farts.

(Bonus points to Reid and the Doc if they can tell me who I stole that line from).

4. Sound Defects – “Double Down,” from Sound Defects, Vol. 2

You can purchase this and other slabs of raw funkiness here. Proceeds go toward my next birthday present.

5. Cat Power – “The Moon” from The Greatest

Not to be confused with “The Streak,” a Ray Stevens classic. The Stevens track is about a streaker, and in between the chorus Stevens pretends to be a news reporter interviewing his victims at the scene. The joke is that the victim at all three scenes is the same hayseed married couple. Stevens does all the voices and, man oh man, is it a hoot.

Phew. I mean, it’s funny. “The Streak” that is. Not this song. Nothing funny here. No goofy names or silly voices. Like I said, no reason to confuse the two.

6. Gee, Marsha – “Peanut Duck,” from Girl Group Sounds Lost and Found (One Kiss Can Lead to Another)

This is one of those songs named after a dance, where the singer brags how everyone is doing said dance, then gives you a hint how to get started doing it yourself. Here’s a sampling of the lyrics:

Gee-gee-gee/gee-gee-gee/quack quack quack/da quackie/a geegie go go/sheegie/quaky/a gee gee/quacky

Proceed.

7. Springsteen, Bruce – “Reno,” from Devils & Dust

I can’t wait until I’m 42 and this is my favorite Springsteen song. Oh wait, yes I can.

8. Idaho – “Here To Go,” from Year After Year

I heard the state of Idaho requested permission to use this song as the theme for their yearly Potato Festival. Jeff Martin said no. Say what you want, dude’s got integrity.

Fun quiz time: Only 6 of 31 words used above have any connection to what we know as reality. Can you guess which ones?

9. Banhart, Devendra – “Santa Maria Da Feira,” from Cripple Crow

I really wish someone would translate this song’s lyrics into English. It sounds fun and sexy. Also I’m kind of hoping “lady-daddy-daddy” translates to “fuddy-duddy-duddy” in English.

Why? Because it’d be funny.

10. John, Elton – “Goodbye,” from Madman Across The Water

My life just got 45% more poignant, and this mix just got 65% more awesome. Scientists call this the “Madman Effect.” Shit is proven.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Sunny Novak--July 25, 2006

1. “Buzzin’ Fly,” Tim Buckley, from Dream Letter Live in London 1968

So, you say amplified your average Monday evening misbehavior last night, maybe over-participated in your own hi-jinx? You woke up holding the bottom half of a snapped pool cue in one hand and someone else's pointy boot in the other? Fret not, young dissipate, here’s what to do: stumble from your tangled, sweaty sheets at around three PM; mash the fragments of your shattered head together with your hands in a clumsy approximation of its original brainshape; avoid kicking over the ashtray; snap open a Coke; pour it over some Cheerios; slap this LP onto the old Panasonic and let the healing begin.

2. “Freedom Death Dance,” Eugene McDaniels, from Headless Heroes of the Apocalypse

Supposedly Nixon had Agnew call Atlantic Records to bury this album. Good thing it walks among us again. But if you’re still nursing that Tuesday hangover, you might want to give this one a pass, unless down-tempo fuzzy funk predictions of how, exactly, God will destroy the world based upon your sins can assuage your pervasive, unshakable feelings of self-loathing.

3. “Do It,” Van Morrison, from The Complete Bang Sessions

Van understands your limitations. He doesn’t ask for much. He just wants you to do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do your thing. Even if your “thing” consists of waggling your exposed genitalia at someone who offended you at the Chalet by kind of resembling this other guy (you) who decided to play Journey’s “Faithfully” three times in a row on the jukebox.

4. “Black Champagne,” Luna, from Romantica

I’m imagining Van the Man would not have extended his carte blanche so generously were he to suspect that “[my] thing” was anything that might involve this song playing in the background.

5. “This City,” Scout Niblett, from Kidnapped by Neptune

"This city" is, apparently, "handsome and huge" to Scout. This song is grating and unnerving to me. Come on, Ipod, throw me something funky.

6. “The Birds They Sing in You,” Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti, from Lover Boy

Not exactly what I was hoping for, but soothing, at least—kind of like music I might listen to once I’m dead. We can put this song on a compilation entitled, “Music for Worms to Nibble Me By.”

7. “Race for the Prize,” the Flaming Lips, from The Soft Bulletin

Wow. I haven’t heard this album in, like, forever. I miss this version of the Flaming Lips. As opposed to the Flaming Lips Underground Bubble Rolling Plushie Circus Extravaganza version of them, of which, try as I might, I have grown a bit tired. I'm sorry. I just can't help it.

8. “Justice to the People,” Lee Perry and the Upsetters, from the Trojan Upsetters Box Set

The lyrics to this song are somewhat tough to decipher given the crying babies in the background and the lo-fi production quality, but with a decent set of headphones a lot of elbow grease I’ve managed to figure out that, for the most part, they refer to why it’d be a beautiful thing if all races could come together and fight to achieve justice. By the way, "justice" here loosely translates to “the bloody destruction of any and all white boys who have ever, currently do, or plan to sport dreadlocks.”

9. “Ding-Dong,” Surapon, from Thai Beat A Go-Go, Vol. 2

In a past life, I was a poorly closeted lounge singer and panderer at a smoky, disreputable GI bar in Saigon. I wore an ill-fitting wig and garishly colorful suits and I smiled a lot at men I hated. This fact goes a long way toward explaining many aspects of my current life that some might find puzzling. For example, nothing goes further toward illuminating this song's mysterious presence on my Ipod.

10. “Suspicious Minds,” Elvis, live!

Ah, we've come full circle here, back to the dulcet sounds of bloat and dissolution--this time all wrapped up in a white leather box and bedazzled with a rhinestone eagle. Oh, Elvis--I think I love YOU too much, baby.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Junk Jackson - July 23, 2006

1. The Marvels -- "Rock Steady," from 100% Dynamite

This was a "the" band before the resurgence of all the "the" bands of the early 2000's period. What do you call those periods that mark the first sections of centuries, anyway? This band attempts to answer that question in this song, though music scholars often confuse it as a cover of Aretha Franklin's "Rock Steady." Those incessant jackanapes.

2. DJ Krush -- "Taiyou Ga Arukagirl/Polegnala E Pschenitza," from Code 4109

I used to call radio stations and request this song by its full title, until I was put on the air and then got three years hard time for supposedly threatening the life of a Polynesian Queen. It was during morning drive time and there were, like, 753,276 witnesses. The worst part is that when I tried getting back in the rap game, I got no street cred for the incident.

3. DJ Food -- "The aging Young Rebel," from Kaleidoscope

Ranked right up there with DJ Windowsill and DJ Pencil. This is actually one of my all-time favorite albums.

4. Fog -- "Truth and Laughing Gas," from The Fog

This band had a huge influence on the sermons of Jonathan Edwards and was named after the damp New England fogs infiltrating Puritan hunting grounds. Unfortunately, they were burned as witches before Alan Lomax was able to sign them.

5. Tapes 'n Tapes -- "Cowbell," from The Loon

Early Puritan literature was fascinated with the concept of a Hell scorched by fire and brimstone. Sermons from this period also spread the image of Satan as a red, cloven-hoofed man who carried a pitchfork, a common farm tool of the time. In the same way that Satan morphed into a serpent so he could deceive Man, our post-agrarian society has altered the perception of the pitchfork as an instrument used for pitching hay into that of an instrument wielded by urban hipsters to cheerlead for bands with boyish singer-songwriters and impossibly ironic names.

6. Deerhoof -- "After Me the Deluge," from The Runner's Four

I think these guys might be the Rainman of bands. I also invite you to insert your own Pitchfork joke...I'm running out.

7. Jonathan Fire Eater -- "Beautician," from Tremble Under Boom Lights

Named such because they eat fire and brimstone for breakfast. This band lives up to the myth. I hear they sold their song rights to Paramount for an upcoming Cotton Mather biopic.

8. Air -- "Biological," from Talkie Walkie

Not surprisingly, this record's album cover launched huge comebacks for BMX biking, homosexuality, and falconry.

Take a look:



9. Blood on the Wall -- "Stoner Jam," from Awesomer

I have to quote Jimmy that a great title for a documentary about middle school would be "Blood on the Carpet, Carpet on the Wall." This song would be the keystone of the soundtrack. The album totally lives up to its title, making it the Muhammed Ali of records.

10. The Wrens -- "This Boy is Exhausted," from Meadowlands

Um, I can't go out tonight because I have to wash my hair. Seriously, I thought I took these guys off my iPod in order to make room for the greatest hits collection of The Redundant Vanilla Oatmeal Band.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

THE WEEK OF JULY 19, 2006

Line 'em up and knock 'em down, shufflahs.

iPod Fun Fact:

The first iPod was created in 1956 by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). It weighed 17 tons, filled an entire gymnasium-sized room, and only held one song.

The name of that song? Thriller, which was being created by DARPA to help fight the Cold War. It was deployed 27 years later.

Here's a picture of that first iPod:

(Image Declassified on November 12, 1992)

Monday, July 17, 2006

Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock, July 17, 2006

1. De La Soul -- “It’s American,” from AOI: Bionix

First things first, I love the De La, think is Dead is one of the best albums (rap or regular) ever, and think the AOI albums are underrated.

On to business. Recently, Dr. von Fünkdoctorspock started a non-ethnic cleansing project for his ‘Pod. The object was to delete all the short, nothing, filler tracks artists think us idiotic consumers want to hear. Needless to say, hip hop skits were the first to go. No one was spared: not Outkast, not the Wu, and certainly not the most egregious offender of them all, Eminem (hey, knucklehead, what interest could I possible have in listening to your answering machine recordings?). Sorry, De La, but am I honestly to believe weed is still funny? Sorry, bud it’s not. Obviously I haven’t finished this epic project… yet.

2. The Darkness – “Givin’ Up,” from Permission to Land

I liked this album when it came out and listened to it a few times. Haven’t since and had no interest in their sophomore slump. I wonder what a band who pilfers classic hard rock would sound like if they had legs.

Wolf-fucking-mother!

Pretty much sums it up.

3. John Coltrane – “Giant Steps,” from The Heavyweight Champion

And people thought rappers started the whole toot-your-own-horn thing. Nice (and more importantly, apt) album title. There’s nothing worse than people who hype themselves, unless the hype is warranted, which is why Milty

a. thinks Kanye is a-okay

and

b. often says, “Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock is like a Nobel Prize and a Pulitzer times fifteen!”

4. The Clash – “The Guns of Brixton,” from London Calling

I never much cared for the song “London Calling.” Still, Reid insisted I hear the album. “If you don’t like it,” he said, “my toothless cousin will service your business. If you do like it, your toothless cousin has to blow bubbles, bubbles being my member’s nickname.”

Would you believe my toothless cousin refuses to settle our bet? What a rocktacular album.

5. Bruce Springsteen – “Sinaloa Cowboys,” from The Ghost of Tom Joad

Is this really the same guy who made albums called Human Touch and Tunnel of Love? This one’s to be filed under “Springsteen-Good.”

6. Cat Power – “Speak For Me,” from You Are Free

On the one hand, I’d like to date her because she’s a hot rock star. On the other hand, supposedly her marble collection is occasionally lacking. But I ask you, “Aren’t all girls a little nuts in their own special way?” And that’s why we love them, right?

[Applause]

7. Guns N’Roses – “Pretty Tied Up,” from Use Your Illusion II

Explain to me how there hasn’t been an Axl Rose reality show yet.

In related news, I should be a network exec.

8. Rage Against the Machine – “Kick Out the Jams,” from Renegades

Some advice: if your band’s on its last legs, don’t release a covers album. If you have to ask why, it’s no surprise your band is breaking up.

Isn’t Audioslave audio-awful?

9. The Raveonettes – “You Say You Lie,” from Pretty in Black

The good doctor developed a live relativity rating defined as the ratio of the quality of a band’s album to the quality of its live show. The Raveonettes got the lowest score.

10. The Fiery Furnaces – “Rehearsing My Choir,” from Rehearsing My Choir

This is the second all-time best concept album about and featuring a brother and sister’s grandmother. The best? Milton and Sarah von Fünkdoctorspock’s Our Grandma’s Carpet Does Match Her Curtains: They’re Both Silk! It was about our grandma’s career in home decoration. It rocked.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Junk Jackson, July 12, 2006

1. Lucienne Delyle - Embrasse - Moi Cheri, from 'Paris After Dark.'

Back in the mid-1940's, Lucienne had a guest appearance on The OC with this cabaret song. True to form, that Seth kid with the jewfro still did a schleppy Woody Allen impersonation. In the episode, the blond kid who looks like a young Russel Crowe toyed with the notion of joining the Hitler Youth, an act which would have strained his relationship with Seth, that skinny kid with the jewfro.

2. The Clean - Psychedelic Ranger, from the Complete Anthology

In the very early 1980's, when this song was first released down in New Zealand, the maternity ward in a Brooklyn hospital was mysteriously filled with a tidal wave of cum, sending 12 nurses to their gruesome demise. Twenty years later, when this anthology was released, the editorial board at Pitchfork realized they all had been born at the same time in the same hospital.

3. Captain Beefheart - Hobo Chang Ba, from 'Trout Mask Replica.'

Captain B's gotta be laughing all the way to the fucking bank.

4. Bob Dylan - Ballad of a Thin Man, from 'Highway 61 Revisited.'

I think this is one of those songs Bob did when he was, like, barely old enough to buy alcohol. It also reminds me of how Alexander the Great conquered half the world when he was about 18. However, at the age of 28 I have helped establish an important blog which reveals subtle truths about modern music and the editorial board at Pitchfork.

5. Consonant - The Kiss, from the self-titled album

The rest of the A-Team and myself would listen to this while running from the Colonel. B.A. would always be like, "I pity the Consonant Jibba Jabba Pity Foos Consonant Jibba Jabba," but we all understood what he meant because he didn't like to fly. You see, the A-Team was made up of a bunch of former Vietnam-era commandos. Consonant is a band made up of former members of Mission of Burma. The producers of the show made sure that every episode was laden with multiple layers of meaning...and then Amy came along, ruining just about everything.

6. T. Rex - Consuela, from 'Prophets, Seers and Sages'

75% of my shufflelogs contain T. Rex songs. 75% of the human body is nothing more than water.

7. Dinosaur Jr. - Poledo, from 'You're Living All Over Me'

Great Caesars Shuffle! My last shufflelog with a T. Rex song also had a Dino Jr. song. Science has been rewritten!!! Those bitches traveled in packs!

8. Miles Davis - Spring Suites, from 'Miles Ahead.'

I once heard that in the 1970's Miles Davis was attending a society party where he was approached by a fusty old WASP woman who politely asked him why he had been invited. He told her, "Oh, I changed the face of music three or four times. What did you do?"

I then cupped my hand over my lip and said, "daaaaaaamn."

9. Wilderness - Your Hands, from the self-titled album

If you like Wilderness, you'll love Les Savy Fav.

10. Out Hud - The Song so Good They Named it Twice. The Song so Good They Named it Twice, from 'Never Let Us Speak of it Again.'

Oh! Check out the delicious postpunk irony of that song title! Oddly enough, the song lives up to it. Pitchfork gave it an almost perfect score of 9.boner.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Jimmy Saffron - July 11, 2006

Hope I didn’t break any rules by deleting my last post, but reading it over I realized I was being lazy and perhaps underselling the idea. That said, I’d like try again. So here is my second attempt at a “conceptual” In The Mix post making light of the passing of Kenneth Lay, disgraced former CEO of Enron corp.

Ken Lay, former CEO of Enron, died of a heart attack last Wednesday, just days before facing sentencing on charges of fraud and conspiracy. What follows are the last ten tracks played on his iPod.

The Devil Had a Hold of Me – Welch, Gillian, from “Hell Among The Yearlings”

Ken would get misty whenever this song came on. It took him back to his youth, growing up in Tyrone, Missouri. Ken’s father was a Baptist Preacher. He, too, spoke of the devil and his myriad traps, greed and pride chief among them.

9 counts of fraud and conspiracy later, Ken wondered why he didn’t listen more closely.

A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off – The Magnetic Fields, from “69 Loves Songs Vol. 1”

Ken enjoyed this band’s cheeky, yet confessional lyrics. They captured his feelings about love perfectly, that it made fools of men but could just as easily raise them up. Money can’t buy love, and if anyone knows that, it’s Ken. In 1999 alone, he made 42.5 million dollars.

(I Was Drunk At The) Pulpit – Palace Brothers, from “There is No-One What Will Take Care of You”

Ken always felt weird describing Will Oldham as “folk.” He just didn’t know how else to describe his music when recommending it. Ken didn’t know which was more difficult—selling someone on Will Oldham, or selling them worthless stock in a company that’s about to collapse and take their pension with it.

Just kidding. Ken knew perfectly well which was easier.

Lucky – Radiohead, from “OK Computer”

Ken remembered being told once that Enron was the “OK Computer” of energy companies. Though he knew it was meant as a compliment, he still found it unnerving. He would have preferred being the “The Bends” of energy companies. “The Bends” rocked.

Innocent When You Dream (Barroom) – Waits, Tom, from “Franks Wild Years”

You’re also innocent until proven guilty. At least that used to be the case in this country.

Shining Skinned Friend – The Juan Maclean, from “Less Than Human”

Ken kept his love of the Juan Maclean to himself. He hung out with a lot of corporate guy-guys who would never listen to any electronica. Jeff Skilling would definitely have called this “faggy.”

Wishful Thinking – Wilco, from “A Ghost is Born”

“What would we be without wishful thinking?” asks Jeff Tweedy. “Not on trial for our lives,” answered Ken Lay.

23 Minutes in Brussels – Luna, from “Penthouse”

Ken Lay wasn’t a Luna fan, but if he had been he’d know they played this song at every single one of their live shows, usually as an encore.

Bees – Animal Collective, From “Feels”

Ken Lay felt that AC’s debt to Mercury Rev was heaviest on this track. He’d keep this to himself however, realizing he was in no position to talk about “debts.”

Dinner at Eight – Wainwright, Rufus, from “Want One”

Again, not a word of this to Jeff Skilling.

Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock, July 11, 2006

1. The Kinks, “Phenomenal Cat”

Since music discussions are more interesting when absolute, I won’t hesitate to call The Kinks the most underrated band of all time. You know how people talk about how Brian Wilson always aspired to rival the Beatles and came oh, so close? I would argue that much of The Kinks’ catalog reaches that pantheon. Talk about living in the shadows….

2. Smashing Pumpkins, “Blank Page (Live)”

Musically, the Adore tour is the best show I’ve ever seen, and this song (appropriately played as the encore) might have been the best. That album came alive live. They should’ve called that shit Frankenstein! This is nine minutes of crescendo, and crescendo was where the Pumpkins were Vikings.

3. The New Pornographers, “Testament to Youth in Verse”

More porn! This song has everything there is to like about pornos: surprising, catchy twists that make me want to jump out my chair, shake my hips, sing along and come in some poor young vixen’s face.

4. Radiohead, “No Surprises (Live)”

Speaking of absolutes, there is nary a band in the land with talent remotely approaching that of the ‘head’s. Better yet, the live show is jaw-droppingly up to task.

5. Belle & Sebastian, “Ease Your Feet in the Sea”

Who are Belle and Sebastian? There aren’t band members named that, right? Did you know that Coheed & Cambria are the names of the two main characters in the story the albums by the band of the same name tell? True. They’re also writing a book telling the story. I predict at some point Coheed and/or Cambria slay a dragon.

6. Frank Sinatra, “It Was a Very Good Year”

Can you comprehend how much ass Frankles got? If you can, you’re either:

a.) lying
or
b.) bedridden with disease

He was a superstar and he was mobbed up. Also, his songs are really great, which makes me okay with his success.

7. Wilco, “Spiders (Kidsmoke) (Live)”

It’s a veritable inthemixapalooza with all these live tracks. Another absolute: I am Trying to Break Your Heart is the best rockumentary of all time.

8. Reservoir Dogs Sdtrk, “Coconut”

What was the guy who sang this song doing drinking girl drinks? “The lime in the coconut”? No thanks, man, I’ll take a beer. Now watch this.

9. Calla, “Alacran”

When Pitchfork runs a Calla review, I never understand why it’s the fourth or fifth album listed and only gets a paragraph or two. Whack. Calla = truth.

10. Dizzee Rascal, “Seems 2 Be”

See last week’s entry. Did he really spell “to” with the number or is that someone’s squirrely CDDB interpretation? I’ll bet people with vanity license plates were more adept at text messaging than us normals when texting first splashed. “Sweet! I already know how 2 tlk lk tht! LOL!!!”

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock, 5Jul06

1. The New Pornographers, “Jackie”

Off the top of my head, the worst band name in decades. Where’s Anus the Menace when you need them? Sorry, that was a flagrant/cheap effort at starting this one with a light jab since I suspect Chip, Jimmy and Reid will all give thumbs down to New Porn. But fuck them. The New Porn is ear candy pop delight. Ilikeitalot.

2. Eminem, “The Kiss”

I have this great idea! On my next album, I’m going to include short interludes between songs. These interludes won’t be songs, but short, hypothetical skits that will tell people what my life is like while also entertaining them, which is what the people want.

Don’t count on it. Music philanthropists, I beg of you to donate to my new charity, Stop Hip Hop Skits Now Because They Are All Trite and Childish. Thank you.

3. “The John Larroquette Show Theme Song”

What a man, and what a show.

Ridonkeylious! I have got to delete these damn things. I’m not kidding when I say this sounds like a mentally handicapped person (not you, Chip) mumbling gibberish over a jazzy, Nightcourtish number. When John Larroquette asks his assistant (a.k.a. himself) to google himself this week, he’ll be disappointed to see it’s on “In the Mix,” but he brought that on himself.

Anyone know what Markie Post is up to???

4. The Who, “Courtroom Scene”

Because it’s a rock opera, this isn’t necessarily a skit per se. I propose an “In the Mix” exception in which skits can be excluded if and when they shuffle in. I can’t be held responsible for the lame indulgences of music stars.

If my trip hop album ever gets released, it will contain one skit whose sole purpose will be to rail against skits. Also, it will rhyme and be spoken rhythmically. I will call it a “song.”

5. Dizzee Rascal, “Hype Talk”

ODB was born to rap grime. Yet another regret for his premature passing. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t… I’m sorry, I can’t go on.

6. Spoon, “Merchants of Soul”

I can feel Chip hating on my ‘Pod. Thank gravy we don’t live in the same city anymore. I’m going to try to distract him with my favorite Jack Bauer line from last season: “The only reason you’re still conscious is because I don’t want to carry you.”

7. Unwound, “Corpse Pose”

A blessing from Reid. This song or band isn’t nearly as death metal as their names imply. In fact, “Corpse Pose” includes instructions on how to make your corpse as presentably pretty as possible. Some tips:

* Because your hair and fingernails continue to grow, you should cut them everyday, else they will grow grotesquely long. This is especially true for the hair growing out of moles.

* Don’t stop bathing daily just because you’re old, you never leave the house, and it’s difficult for you to step into the tub. Stop being so selfish. Stinkiness is plenty of reason to keep you out of your beloved heaven.

* When you’re old enough that no one cares how you look, get a boob job. It couldn’t hurt.

8. John Lennon, “Move Over Ms. L”

Is dude talking about Jimmy’s mom? Dude best cut that shizzle out unless dude wants to get sho—

Oh, right. Sorry.

9. The Jackson 5, “Mama’s Pearl”

Has anyone written a biography of Michael Jackson entitled Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness? Can I get dibs on that? The sequel will be Money Will Buy A Short-Lived Marriage to Lisa Marie Presley.

10. Gorillaz, “Dracula”

This has gotta be Milty’s whackest "In the Mix" shufflelog to date. It’s amazing how much better the 2nd Gorillaz album is than the 1st. Kind of like WWI v. WWII.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Chip Shipley- The Day before the Greatest Day Ever

In honor of America, God, and the good Doktor I've been watching season two of '24' with a fervor I've seldom had. Let's get radical.

1. Yesterday's New Quintet- Directions (Sound Directions: The Funky Side of Life)

I'm going to pretend like this song never came up. The Madlib-(b)er is torch hot, and I've gotten funky (played twister) more than is probably safe to this album, but this song isn't indicative of anything and Jack Bauer says it's wasting his time.

2. Animal Collective- Grass (Feels)

From my favorite album of 2005. And I like to think it was Jack Bauer's favorite, too.

3. Otis Redding- I'm Depending On You (The Definitive Otis Redding)

Jack and Otis wrote this song together about 72 hours ago. We need each other, people. That's the only way we can move on in this post 9/11 world. God bless America.

4. Brian Eno- Golden Hours (Another Green World)

I actually grew to love Eno because of this song, which I thought was called Golden Showers. Oh man, that's something I haven't done for a while. Hey Dr. Von Fjfkdas;hjfkda, get over here.

5. Ilpo Vaisanen- 4'24" (20' to 2000)

I'm giving the F-bomb to Apple on this one. This album came up on my last 'In the Mix'. You know what? I'm not amused. And neither is Jack Bauer. I sent him over to your house, Apple, 30 minutes ago.

6. Albert Ayler- Omega is the Alpha (Live in Greenwich Village)

Was this A squared's sneaky way of telling us he was in a fraternity? That's okay, Al. I love you anyway. Great song. Great album. Great man. Sexy, sexy wife.

7. Beat Happening- Foggy Eyes (Beat Happening)

Jack Bauer just told me that he hates this song. You know what, Jack? I like it. No, I love it. Okay, okay I don't. I'm sorry. Don't hurt me.

8. Cat Power- Fool (You Are Free)

If Jack gets a spare hour after a mission, he's going to listen to this song in a beat up old truck as he drives into the sunset. (Or over the sunset. Toward the sunset. What? How the hell do you say that?)

9. Bill Evans- Autumn Leaves (Portrait in Jazz)

Has anyone seen the cover of the album The Complete Village Vanguard Recordings? Absolutely sick. If anyone knows where I can find a poster of it, let me know. Jack has a direct line to the president, and I'm told he will make it worth your while.

10. Nation of Ulysses- The Kingdom of Heaven Must be Taken by Storm (Plays Pretty for Baby)

Ian Svenonius was once shown to have helped in the vandalizing of stores during the Cinco de Mayo riots in D.C. Ian was fortunate that it was a low priority for Jack. He was in hour 7 of protecting the citizens of Mishawaka from a crazed flasher. Jack says, "You were lucky, Ian. You were lucky."

I'm naked. I've got a Bud in one hand and a sparkler in the other. Yes kids, I'm proud to be an American (and you should be too).

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Week of July 2, 2006

In honor of July 4, let's take a look at George Washington's shufflelog:

1. Yankee Doodle
2. The National Anthem
3. America the Beautiful
4. 99 Problems, Jay-Z
5. Proud to be an American, Lee Greenwood
6. Revolution, The Beatles
7. Children of the Revolution, T. Rex
8. Let's Get Free, Dead Prez
9. Sex Style, Kool Keith
10. Sing Swan Song, Can

Now it's your turn, patriots.